CAN I EVEN BE USING THESE GIFS RIGHT NOW? I JUST DON’T KNOW. I CAN’T EXPRESS MYSELF.
HE IS EATING FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD IN MY KITCHEN.
LIKE THIS. JUST LIKE THIS. Except he doesn’t look like Matt Smith. Although he sort of does, and like David Tennant, kind of a cross between them, with Jude Law thrown in for good measure.
HAVE I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND????
I WAS ATTACKED BY MUMMIES TODAY.
Okay, okay, I told myself I was going to write it all out from the beginning, calmly, and then maybe I’ll be able to wrap my head around it. Doubtful.
So there were the scratching noises, and then they turned into pounding noises, AND THEN THE SARCOPHAGI OPEN AND THE MUMMIES START WALKING OUT. Needless to say,
So I’m screaming, the few other people nearby start screaming, everyone comes running from all the different parts of the exhibit and they all start screaming, IT TURNS INTO A GIANT SCREAMFEST.
And the SCARIEST thing is, WHEN THE MUMMIES TOUCH YOU, YOU TURN INTO A MUMMY. BANDAGES AND ALL. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THIS HAPPENED TO SOME FOURTH GRADERS. FOURTH GRADE MUMMIES ARE TERRIFYING.
I pretty much hid the whole time and then felt like a loser. I was like I SHOULD BE TRYING TO SAVE THESE PEOPLE. And then I was like….
But I did write that message to the Doctor, but then I was like I AM AN IDIOT THAT IS A TV SHOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, and then the security guards came and the museum curator came, and they were all like WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, and then two of the security guards were turned into mummies, and the curator was like
And I was screaming and crying and like DOCTOR YOU SAID YOU WOULD COME BACK TOMORROW while also like OKAY THAT GUY WAS CRAZY. IN REAL LIFE THE DOCTOR DOES NOT COME SAVE PEOPLE, THEY JUST DIE, but then I was also like IN REAL LIFE MUMMIES DON’T COME BACK TO LIFE, I’M NOT SURE REAL LIFE APPLIES ANYMORE and then I hear the most beautiful sound in the world.
And he’s there. The gorgeous crazy man who thinks he’s the Doctor, and he’s like I’m sorry, am I late? and he sees the mummies, and he’s like Ohhh! Mummies, I haven’t seen that in a while! And the curator is like WHO ARE YOU, and I’m like
And then Johnny comes in from the space exhibit and is like WHAT IS HAPPENING. And then he sees the tardis and he’s like AUDREY WHAT THE HELL and I swear he thinks I have pulled everyone into my crazy fangirl delusions, and I’m just like IT’S NOT MY FAULT OKAY but actually still just more like
BECAUSE I MEAN REALLY. UNDEAD MUMMIES. THE DOCTOR. TARDIS AND ALL. WHAT IS MY LIFE.
Okay, I’m starting to lose track of what even happened, because it was just mass chaos. I guess the number of mummies went up by the minute since more people kept coming into the exhibit to see what was happening and so they kept touching more people and trying to move into the rest of the museum, so eventually the Doctor was like can you put the museum on lockdown? Stop everything from coming in or out? And the curator was like…..yes…..and the Doctor was like WELL THEN DO IT, and so he did, and everyone alive and not a mummy just gathered around the Doctor and were all simultaneously like WHO ARE YOU and WHAT IS GOING on and PLEASE SAVE US SINCE YOU ARE EVIDENTLY THE ONLY ONE WITH AUTHORITY HERE.
And I was like
Except WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY less composed and happily elf-looking. I was really more like
CAN’T HANDLE LIFE RIGHT NOW
And he was like
And he did some things with his sonic screwdriver (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and he asked me where they came from, and I was like THEY CAME FROM THE SARCOPHAGI THAT COULDN’T BE OPENED, and he went to look at them and he got all excited and was like OHHH A TIME LOCK, I HAVEN’T SEEN ONES LIKE THIS IN A LONG TIME. Honestly he was kind of like
which made the curator be like YOU ARE WAY TOO HAPPY ABOUT THIS, WHO ARE YOU SIR?
And so he was like I’m the Doctor! So there was the obligatory
And then I almost started laughing - okay, I did start laughing kind of hysterically, and everyone looked at me like I was insane, which at this point was totally understandable.
And then… okay, I don’t even know. I would like to give a detailed account that you could make into a scene from an episode if you wanted, but I just can’t. THERE WERE MUMMIES RUNNING AROUND EVERYWHERE, OKAY. So we kept running around the room trying to avoid them - SO MUCH RUNNING - and the Doctor said a lot of things really fast, and all I really got out of it was that he couldn’t solve the problem right then, at least not from right there and that we should all get in the tardis and get out of the museum. And the curator and everyone was like WE CAN’T FIT IN THAT TINY POLICE BOX. And I was like
and then we all got inside and they were all like WHAAAAT, and I was like THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT BEING FANS OF THE SHOW, LOSERS. But then he flew it and it was really just more of I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT I CAN’T
AND HE LANDED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE and everyone was like WELL BUT THERE ARE STILL MUMMIES WALKING AROUND IN THE MUSEUM WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT THIS IS A PROBLEM WHAT HAPPENED I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
And he was like, Well, they’ll keep. Don’t worry, I’m the Doctor.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. EVERY TIME, GUYS. EVERY TIME.
And then the curator was like, Well, yeah, the museum is in lock down, but don’t you think it’s ONLY A MATTER OF TIME before they break out? (TICKING CLOCK, GUYS, TICKING CLOCK)
And the Doctor did this shrug thing (HIS EXPRESSION WAS JUST LIKE THIS)
And was like TIME MACHINE.
And everyone was like WHAT.
I don’t know how he eventually got them all to leave, but he did. Except Johnny. He hung around and was like AUDREY THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING. And I was like UM WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT. And we had this really awkward staring contest, and then finally he was like, Well - all right - it’s obviously happening, but - Aud, in the show it’s always like… they always fall in love with him (NOT EVEN TRUE JOHNNY, HELLO, DONNA AMY RORY) and - they always end up a bit… they’re just not quite the same after traveling with him, and I just… I don’t want to lose you, Aud.
In the heat of the moment, I considered making out with him. We just almost died, he professed his undying love, it was MOVIE SCENE PERFECT. But then I was like OH HELLO, the DOCTOR is standing right over there
And I rather prefer him to any movie. He was kind of doing this whole
But I was like WAIT. I HAVE FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD AND MY HOUSE IS RIGHT HERE. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND SAVE THE WORLD AND WHATEVER. BUT I MEAN NOT NECESSARILY RIGHT NOW. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE SAVING THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. COULDN’T WE JUST…
And he was like
Mummies…breaking out…infecting the world…it’s a bit of a problem, don’t you think? I should probably attend to it.
And I was like TIME MACHINE. And somehow I cajoled him into coming into my house, and Johnny left, and we had this moment when I grabbed onto his hand and was like COME ON.
PRETTY MUCH LIKE THAT.
BUT REALLY I’M STILL JUST LIKE
AND NOW HE IS EATING MY FOOD AND AND AND I DON’T KNOW. I TRIED TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS BUT NOTHING WAS REALLY COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH IN A SENSIBLE MANNER. So he was like why don’t you just, uh, relax. Take some deep breaths. You know.
And I was like DO YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I’M A FANGIRL?
And I think he was really kind of like
But he was actually really nice about it and didn’t say that he hated me, but it was kind of awkward, and I was deep down like HOW ARE YOU REAL, I DON’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS AHHHHHHHHHH. And he was like, I don’t think you can handle any explanations right now, and I was like YOU ARE SO RIGHT I LOVE YOU. And he was like … and I was like HAVE SOME FOOD, WAIT DO YOU STILL LIKE FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ELEVEN? And he was like Yeah, I like it, and I was like OKAY EAT IT. So he is eating it, and I am sitting in the next room freaking out and eventually I will interrogate him, but first I have to just have to process this, which might take a while.